World premiere · Contains cigars, slime & aggressive prioritization

Now showing

NNEAT PICTURES presents COLONEL NNEAT in

PUT ON THE DAMN GLASSES

also starring Three Very Angry Board Members · Ransomware · Phishing · An AI-Powered Attack · A Stealer · and 7,997 vulnerabilities that didn't matter

Directed by CONTEXT · Edited by PRIORITIZATION · Cigar by THE COLONEL

Your dashboard, probably

Everything's
critical?

Bullshit!
0threats
0“critical” vulns
¯\_(ツ)_/¯total risk
0attack path that matters

That's NNEAT: same noise, better targets. We don't make the 150,000 disappear — we show you the one path an attacker would actually take, and where to cut it.

A tragedy in three panels (with a happy ending)

From chaos
to clarity.

Colonel NNEAT, overwhelmed, buried in paper and red alerts.
1. OVERWHELMED

Everything's
critical?!

The Colonel puts on the orange NNEAT glasses with a smirk and a cigar.
2. PUT ON THE DAMN GLASSES

Let's see what
really matters.

Relaxed, the Colonel watches a clear orange attack path on the screen.
3. CLARITY

Now we're
talking.

Classified · for operators only

The Colonel's
field manual

  1. RULE #1
    “I don't count problems. I fix the right ones.”

    Translation: NNEAT ranks exposures by real context, not by how red the label is. Your team works on what actually reduces risk.

  2. RULE #2
    “Stop spraying. Start aiming.”

    Translation: See the attack paths that actually lead somewhere — entry point, access, crown jewels — and cut the path, not the noise.

  3. RULE #3
    “Nice dashboard. Can it tell me what to fix?”

    Translation: Agentic AI CTEM that tells you the next move. Not another pie chart to present to the board.

  4. RULE #4
    “Discover every exposure. Fix what matters.”

    Translation: We map everything you expose (domains, IPs, cloud, suppliers), then show the few an attacker would use. Fix those first.

OPERATION: FIX WHAT MATTERS · FILE Nº 0001

Mission briefing

Give the Colonel a domain. He'll put on the glasses and show you your external attack surface before attackers do.

  1. 01 Target
  2. 02 Recon
  3. 03 Enlist
  4. 04 Debrief

No agent. No credit card. No bullshit. Full intel dossier delivered within 24 hours.

nneat-vision — recon

Target locked:

Now that's what I call prioritization.

The Colonel is on . Your NNEAT Surface dossier will hit your inbox within 24 hours. Meanwhile, keep your glasses clean.

Watch the trailer again
Colonel NNEAT: Cut The Path — first-person shooter, the Colonel fires at Ransomware in the data center

Bonus level

Cut the path.
60 seconds.

The Colonel's 90s-style shooter from our event booths. Three zones, one attack path. Kill the threats, spare the intern.

Play the game

Fix what
matters.

Discover every exposure. Then do the three things that actually matter.